How children interact verbally with parents and teachers is a powerful mechanism for the inculcation of life-long values and life-skills. Given the primal bond between parents and their children, how parents allow their children to speak to them and interact with them will influence the way children will in turn relate to others.
If a child is allowed to speak to parents disrespectfully without correction and reinforcement of alternative, respectful means of communicating, it is likely that the child will in turn have continuing difficulties in relating to other children and adults. This may impair a child's social development of self, may negatively impact on a child's educational development through poor classroom skills and may have impacts throughout that child's adulthood.
Emotional intelligence, the innate potential to feel, use, communicate, recognize, remember, learn from, manage and understand emotions, requires development through experiences which mold that potential into overt skills. Children first learn these skills in the home and then polish them at school.
If you do not exercise discretion in how you allow your child to interact with you, your child may not adequately develop such skills as discretion, empathy and respect for others, and tempering demand and impulsiveness.
Establishing, practising, rewarding and praising good manners are all part of developing a child with a positive emotional intelligence.
All children help produce family patterns from the day that they arrive.
From a young age children often have good ideas about what would work better at home. Regular family discussions with children able to contribute their ideas can be a useful forum for making decisions about family guidelines, rules regulations, limits, rewards, consequences and shared activities.,
Children can learn much about life from these discussions. They learn to make suggestions, discuss things and witness decision making. This is all important learning for them.
Of course parents need to remain in charge of these discussions and the final decisions, but where children feel that they have had the opportunity to participate through discussion, they are more inclined to follow decisions made than if they are just imposed and they develop the ability to communicate, feel valued and develop aspects of their emotional intelligence.